Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Ugly Green Beans (UGB)

Beautiful, fresh green beans. Washed and ready.
You might wonder how a green bean could ever be called ugly. Green beans are perfectly beautiful, right? Fresh, velvety, crisp and green with their tiny curled tips just waiting for a quick blanch then a roll in olive oil and a whole busload of slivered garlic…now that is a beautiful, beautiful thought.

But UGB (Ugly Green Beans)? Well folks, this is a recipe many of you already know about, but still stands to be mentioned for the benefit of the unenlightened. You see, I’m tired.
Pooped. Verplunkt! (I can still see Madeline Kahn singing this song in Blazing Saddles. Here's the You Tube On It) Since the cancer I just simply have not seen a resurgence in energy like we'd hoped, so I like to take as many no brainer, low energy, short cuts as I can to get a delicious whole foods dinner on our plates.

Ugly Green Beans (UGB), Blue Cheese Juicy Loosey on a
low carb roll with Jen Eloffs bake mix and lettuce 'n' tomatoes
UGB is this kind of shortcut. Little effort—lots of reward. Is that wrong?

Ugly Green Beans are one of the weapons in my arsenal. You either love ‘em or hate ‘em. I’m in the “love ‘em camp.” They bravely and easily replace french fries in the low carb arsenal and you can cook them to any degree of ugly. If you do not like “brown” food, simply cut back on the ugliness factor and cook them a shorter amount of time, and thus retain the green and ditch the brown.

But still, I hear you. You’re sayin’, “Susie! Oh Sooze. Sooze. Soooze, soooze, soooze. Sooze. You silly wabbit! This is not a wecipe! It’s one more failed attempt to keep your blog going with non-posts. Why do you vex us so? EVERYBODY knows how to roast a green bean. Why not post next about how to boil water or make a hardboiled egg?”

And I "get" that this is not the first time you have suggested I post about ‘how to boil water.’ Truly I do.

And you’re right of course.

Ugly Green Beans is/are NOT a recipe. Why? Well, just cuz. You don’t measure. It’s not tricky. There’s no “set” anything about it. Here’s how easy it is…

You get some green beans (fresh or quick frozen).

You toss them with a glug or two of olive oil. Sprinkle them with Kosher or sea salt, black pepper and granulated garlic powder (or any little herb and spice you love—I have a mad crush these days on my Moroccan Spice Blend, so that’s the flavor of the hour).

Throw ‘em on a sheet pan and roast the be-jesus outta ‘em at 450° for about 35 minutes, turning once or twice during the cooking. Let their color be your guide. Let your schnoz (nose) tell you when enough is enough.

Get fancy, add garlic—keep it simple—and do only the beans. Your choice. Your tastes. YOI (You Own It). Simple. NO brainwork necessary.

Then serve up a passel of ‘em and poof here’s your dinner! Well it would be dinner if you pair UGB with a delicious and easy protein.

And that’s it, y’all. Ugly Green Beans (UGB). They don’t photograph well, but they taste genious to this Southern girl. And they go with EVERYTHING, even a simple fried egg or two!

Hope y’all give ‘em a try!

This post was brought to you by the letter, “B”. “B,” for BROWN.


  1. Perfect way to start my day! - with a laugh - and the possibility that you're right - perfectly UGB - Going to get some this morning and try. I did asparagus one time and everyone voted them down - so I'm a bit leery of brown things that don't come in a can with tomato sauce and onions. Thanks for the early morning smile Lots of blessings !

    1. Hi Linda,

      Sorry to take so long to reply! Hope the beans were great! :) I don't like oven roasted asparagus either--too over-cooked! I like to blanch asparagus no more than 2-3 minutes. Then plunge into ice water to stop the cooking. Then drain well and toss in brown butter. YUM! Or grilled asparagus are also yum!


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