Low Carb, Gluten Free Lemon Blackberry Ice Cream

Low Carb Gluten Free Lemon Blackberry
Buttermilk Ice Cream so good, you may
just drink the mix without freezin' it! I did... *blush*

Update Completed! Recipe Ready...

Howdy sweetie pies! Coming soon to a blog near you (here)...Low Carb Lemon Blackberry Buttermilk Ice Cream...

This is the soft serve state immediately post-churning in my oh-so-ancient Donvier Mama & Daddy gave me for my 21st birthday back in school. It's already hot and muggy in Hell, er, I mean Houston and so it was meltin' at a pretty fast clip! But it still ate good!

Looks good enough to eat, doesn't it?

Yeeehawwww! Guess how many grams of net carbs are in it per 1/2c serving?

Go ahead. Guess.
You'll never guess (unless you read the comments of the Revolutionary Hot Dog Bun post for the hint.)

See ya back here late this afternoon or early evenin' after we finish ropin' the goats and feedin' the hogs and stuff...

Ok, I'm back from my trip to the lymphedema clinic. Turns out because I had 33 or 34 lymph nodes removed from my left side (most healthy people have about 36 in the armpit area) I'm at high risk for fluid build-up and infections in my left arm. I only have a mild case of it, so that's great news. Bad new is that it's a lifelong "condition" and degenerative if not controlled.

Tubin' on the Frio River.

The sucky part of all this is part of controlling the condition means entering a "bubble" where there are many restrictions. Apparently I'm not supposed to ever get in a hot tub or spa again, not supposed to swim in a public pool without a lot of chlorine in it.

And worst ever, never supposed to float down a river in an innertube, drinking beer, yellin' at other tubers and havin' fun. I am supposed to be super vigilant about my "arm" status and health.

Fun times. I sometimes feel a pitty party tune that goes something like the Low Down Homesick Blues, "I just heard today, that my whole life I will never play. Anything that meant before is gone - walkin' out the door...Blah, blah, more down-in-the-dumps, sad beer drinking lyrics..."

The Rapids - shootin' 'em, sittin' in 'em...

You know, like why, what good is surviving breast cancer if the rest of your life has to be spent in a perpetual sterile bubble, with no fattening food, no booze, no partyin' with friends on the river where I spent a very large portion of my life growin' up - on the Frio River.

Where life is all about walking the straight and narrow and pretending I'm an interesting person - sure, like you can be interesting living as Bubble-Girl. There are only so many episodes of The Middle or Modern Family that people wanna hear about before they start making excuses not to get together with you again.

Texas BarBQ and a float in a low-tech pool. This is
MY kind of livin'...

I gotta admit. I have friends in low places. You know? I never aspired to be a fitness person. I hate exercising. I really do. I like to backslide once in a blue moon. You hear? I like a bag of Lay's now and then.

I do not see myself suddenly filling my life with new interests such as mountain climbing or cycling or speed walking or doing Bikrum yoga. (No offense to any of you who participate in these esteemed and highly healthy pursuits. It's just not me. I don't conceive of a day in the distant future that would include me as a participant in that life. I'm drivin' the bus to Hell and it's a short, unindurably boring trip.)

I'm a "lets-get-together-cook-something-super-awsome-and-have-a-few-bottles-of-wine-in-the-hot-tub-solving-the-problems-of-the-world-and-all-your-mama-issues" kind of person. I'm not good in a knife fight. You do not bring me to a rumble. I'm not KungFu Panda and don't wanna be. I do not now, nor will I ever have your back. I'm a two-percenter and I used to be fairly well-adjusted and happy being unextraordinary.

Thanks for lettin' me spew. Wish I still had wine, I'd offer you a glass as reparation for listening to this sad, sad tune I'm singin' for ya. As Lloyd Bridges said in Airplane, "Today is the wrong day to give up sniffing glue."

All I have to offer you is this recipe for Lemon Blackberry Buttermilk Ice Cream. It's really not ice cream. It's more like the slacker, love-child of sorbet and ice cream. Crystally when frozen, the delightfully creamy when thawed for 10 minutes on the counter. Hope ya like it.

April 2014 Arm Update - Despite my best efforts to be a boring Bubble Girl and do my daily lymphedema care, my arm condition has progressed to Stage II Lymphedema. My arm is close to 50-60% bigger than my right arm, despite wrappings, sleeves, etc. Yippee skippee. Let this be a lesson to you. There's more to breast cancer than the initial treatment. So don't get it. OK?

Lemon Blackberry Buttermilk Ice Cream
Serves 6-8
Prep Time - 15 Minutes
Cook Time - None
Churn Time - Till it's ready
Difficulty - Easy

Low Carb, Gluten Free Lemon Blackberry
Buttermilk Ice Cream

Ingredients
4 c. Buttermilk, Full Fat
4.5 fl. oz. Blackberry Syrup, Sugar Free (Monin Brand)
3 Tbsp Lemon Zest
1/2 c. Lemon Juice, fresh
1 fl. oz. Vanilla Syrup, Sugar Free (DaVinci)
5 drops EZ Sweetz Concentrate Splenda
1 pinch Stevia Powder (NuNaturals or Sweet Leaf)
3 tsp. Truvia or Erythrito/Xylitol Blend
1 c. Blackberries, frozen
Garnish - 8-10 Blackberries, optional

Microwave frozen blackberries and mush them up to a coarse mush.

Zest lemons.

Squeeze lemons for fresh juice. Do NOT use bottled lemon juice. I will spank you.

Looks like Pepto met Papa Smurf but tastes so fine!

Combine all ingredients and stir until sweeteners are dissolved.

Taste and adjust sweetness with EZ Sweetz drops. This should be very tart and lemony!

If possible, make this mix a day ahead and let it sit in the fridge to develop flavor. But who am I kiddin'? It's so good, just blend it and freeze it! Eat it soon!

Only minutes away from a date with heaven! You'll think you're cheatin'
on yourself but you aren't!

Pour into ice cream freezer and churn.

Salivation begins somewhere about here...

Churn.

Not much longer...

And churn, churn to soft serve.

Remove to a freezer safe container and freeze 1 to 2 hours to allow it to firm up. Or hells, just serve it as soft serve.

Once solid, it will get very icy, like an Italian Ice. To defrost, nuke for 1 minute, then use a fork or spoon to scrape into ice shaving. It starts off as ice and melts to a creamy finish.

Perfect!

Nutritional Information
Full Recipe - Only 67.2g Net Carbs for Entire Recipe! (Alcohols listed are sugar alcohols.)

Single Serving - Only 5.2 Net Carbs per Serving! (Alcohols listed are sugar alcohols.)

Susie's Notes -

This is good. So good. I dreamt about it last night after eating 1/2 cup serving. I think you could make it with strawberries or blueberries, or peaches or mixed berries. So many derivations! You would reduce the lemon juice a bit, but it would still be a strong member of the party.

Won't spend any more of your time here.

Go make this.

Oh and you can order these flavored sugar free syrups on Netrition or on Amazon!

Monin syrups are made mostly of liquid Erythritol with a little bit of Splenda. Sugar Free DaVinci syrups are mostly Splenda.