Friday, April 20, 2012

Inside Susie's Head - Conversations With Me

Day 5 - 2Week Atkins Induction

Inside Susie's Head
Ring. Ring.

“Hellooooo. Sussssssiiiiieeee…”

“Helloooo. Conscienceeeee…”

“Your going to hell,” the voice said.


“I already have the easy chair with the rusty nail cushions picked out for you beside the roaring fire.”

I replied sarcastically. “Gee, thanks. You’re too kind. Do you have any hints why I’m taking the elevator to the basement floor?”

“I know who you are and I saw what you did last summer,” the voice on the other end of
the line contined to drone in a monotony of rip-offs and tired cliches.

“Yeah, yeah. I did a lot of stuff I wasn’t proud of last summer. I spent the summer bald with no eyebrows or lashes, doing my best not to hurl and living smack in the middle of chemo treatments for breast cancer. Words escape. You hurt people’s feelings. People cry. You hear things. Sue me.”

“I don’t have to sue you. You’re already doomed.”

I screamed. “Why!!!!???!!!!”

“It’s made of people,” the voice continued.

“What is??? Look,” I demanded, “you better cut to the chase. My priest will be calling soon to continue the good start you’ve already made this morning. I have to clear the line. So unless you have something better to say…”

“The Pangasius. It’s made of people.”

“I believe you have that confused with soilent green, dude,” I insisted.

"Nope. The Basa. The Pangasius. The Swai. It’s made of people,” the voice persisted desultorily.

“Ok, I’ve had just about enough from you! This fish is farmed in the Mekong Delta and is raised in river water from the Mekong. It’s good for…”

“Now you’re getting it,” the voice interrupted.

“Oh my Gawd!” I shouted in exasperation. “It was only 2 bags! I only bought the 2 bags. Besides, they’re the last two filets left on the planet and I found them on an expedition to the bottom of my chest freezer. They’ve been there since last July. Denny and the sock-monkey boys won’t even notice the freezer-burned tails. I’ll cut them off and spice them up. It’s what’s for dinner. Now, leave me alone.”

The voice droned on, “It’ll give you cancer.”

“Now, you’ve gone too far. That was too cruel – don’t joke about cancer. Besides, you can’t give yourself cancer.”

“Can too.”

“Can NOT!”

“Can too.”

“That’s a ridiculous notion. You can’t give yourself cancer,” I insisted.

“Google it. Then call me back.”

“Son. Of. A. Biscuiteater!!!”



Day 5 SusieT’s Poopy Report
Weight - 233.2lbs (-2.8lbs) (Pre-poopy. No joy in Mudville today folks!)
FBG – 97
Pain – 6
Mood – 8 (No sleep last night. Pooped beyond all poopability)

Walking – Nope, too much pain.

SusieT’s Notes –
It’s likely to be a boring day here in Inductionville, folks! It’s Fasting-Friday. Meatless Fasting Friday. But hey, stick around and watch the moss grow with me until dinner time, cuz there’s not a lot of cooking or eating going down this morning or afternoon.

The best way to defrost fish is in a bowl of cold water.
If you aren't using it immediately, remove the fish
from the water as soon as it's defrosted and dry it well.
Place fish on top of a pan of ice, cover and refrigerate!
Use within 12 hours for best results.
Dinner is gonna be a hum-dinger. I found 2 Pangasius filets hangin’ out and lookin' suspicious in the deep freeze. They needed killin’. It’s the Texas defense.

So I took ‘em out, threw ‘em in the ice box and have ‘em reclinin' in the green room with the other superstars of tonight's meal. They’ll be defrosted by this evening and I will have a smokin’ hot skillet just waitin’ with their name on it, "Inky" and "Stinky."

I’m hungry for something with garlicy, vinegary jalapeno coleslaw. I might lose this battle, cuz Denny prefers creamy coleslaw. I'm prepared to concede defeat on this point, just to get him to willingly eat the fish.

Denny's people are NOT fish people.

I’m also hungry for oven roasted Ugly Green Beans and maybe some tartar sauce. Have to see how much mayo I have left from the homemade stash I finally whipped up earlier this week.

I generally just replace the mayo (soybean laden and verboten with estrogen positive breast cancers) with Greek Yogurt, since I don’t usually eat enough mayo to finish it before it goes feral in the fridge. I hate wasting expensive olive oil! Since becoming an Inductioneer this week, Greek Yogurt is on hold and mayo is in the on-deck-batting-circle once more. I feel a little spicy tartar sauce or remoulade comin’ on.

(Note: Fasting is NOT part of Atkin’s Induction. In fact the rules clearly state that you should not go longer than 6hours between eating. So why am I doing it? Well, sorry, but God comes before Atkins – especially on Fridays. The spelling rule clearly states it’s “A” before “G,” except after “F - for Friday.”)

Day 5 Dinner

"Dear Farmed Mekong Delta Pangasius, you are so
tasty. I love your texture. I'm sorry I must break-up
with you. Why do you have to be such a dirty boy?"

Susie T. Gibbs,
Breast Cancer Survivor, 4mos-20days

1 Grilled Swai (Pangasius, Basa) "Sammy"*** with Avocado, Tartar Sauce and Toasted Garlic Parmesan Revolution Rolls**

1-1/2c Kitchen Sink Coleslaw
1/2c Ugly Green Beans
Fish Burps*

*Courtesy of the farmed fish from Hell.

**Pick-up the Basic Revolution Roll recipe here. I don't worry about a few sesame seeds as an Inductioneer.

***I call this sandwich the "Slammin' Sammy" cuz it it hits it out of the ballpark every time!

More Candid Camera from dinner!

The "Slammin' Sammy" Fish Sandwich with
Coleslaw and Ugly Green Beans

Can ya tell Fluffy Chix are not hatin' this dinner?

Ready for sandwich assembly, Captain!

Farmed Pangasius - grilling and chillaxin'.
It LOOKS so innocent, too!

Daily Totals

Click image to enlarge.

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