Chile Lime Coleslaw - Perfect for Memorial Day

The "Boys" - Kevin, Buddy, Tony, Schylling, Zippy,
their little dog WeeWee and WeeWee's baby, Skeeter
protesting Chile Lime Coleslaw in "Occupy OakLane".

Chile Lime Coleslaw...It's Low Carb, It's Paleo Friendly...but still isn't Sock Monkey Approved.

This is a true story…

It’s a story of terror. Of heat. Hot Texas nights and cold sweats.

Many of you will take one look at the ingredients listed here and say, “Oh no she ‘itn’t! No way! I’m not loco! Pshhhaw!”

I know. Many of you might be right.

The ‘boys’, you remember our sock monkey boys: Buddy, Tony, Kevin, Schylling, Zippy, and their little toy dog WeeWee, and WeeWee’s baby Skeeter, all think I’m nuts.

I think they may have a touch of PTSSD (post traumatic simian stress disorder), cuz they say, “Mom, you’re not makin’ that insane salad crap are you?”

And I see them quake just a tiny bit.

And of course, you can figure out they aren’t allowed to say "crap" and punishment will ensue in Chapter 3. But they are cheeky monkeys!


And it’s hard not to give an evil grin as I calmly reply, “Why yes, boys. As a matter of fact, I am making that insane salad and guess who has to eat at least three bites each if they want peanut butter and frozen chocolate bananas for dessert?”

At which point fear enters their little simian hearts and the shaking begins in ernest.

Ingredients for Chile Lime Coleslaw. (The egg is used to
make my homemade mayo, but you can use Duke's or
Hellman's if you don't mind the soy
or partially hydrogenated oils...)

It’s true this salad is insane. It has two of the hottest chiles in the Southwest as key players in the cast - the habanero and serrano.

There are a bazillion ingredients! Some of you may just walk out now in disgust. I know, we all want 2 ingredient recipes. But I still have to stay calm and tell ya, life and cookin’ is more than a box of yellow cake mix and a can of RC Cola! I’m sorry. It is! There is the occasional homemade, low carb moon pie, too!

If you’re interested in scratch cookin’ and want depth of flavor and complexity, you’re gonna have to open yourself up to readin’ past the third line in a recipe. In the olden days, back when God and I were children, recipes had a lot of ingredients! I’m sorry to have to bring that up…but now we can just move forward through the pain and grow together.

Still, shortcuts exist. I personally hate the taste of lettuce or cabbage in a bag. It tastes dried out and nappy, like every last self-respectin’ iota of taste left the building with Elvis and his peanut butter and nana sammiches. Bagged cabbage tastes vaguely plastic and I just know it isn’t for me. But that doesn’t mean you can’t use bagged coleslaw mix if you like it.

Part of the reason this coleslaw tastes so great comes from
the variety of veggies in the cast of players!

If you want to simplify the number of veggies in this salad, do it! Leave out the cucumber and radish. Leave out the green onions. Whatever dude or dudette! It’s a versatile recipe. Own it! Use pre-chopped containers of veggies. The more diverse and crispy the veggie concoction, the better the flavor - get creative! Add jicama! Olé!

Make it easy on yourself, use a food processor. With a food processor it literally takes longer to wash and dry the veggies than it takes to cut them up! I chose to use a knife because I wanted pretty photos and long thin strips of veggies. But trust me, it eats just as a good, chopped in the processor! And it may actually taste even better for breakfast the next day! Yes! Breakfast!

“Gasp!” said the ‘boys’ in fixated dread. “Breakfast?! Mother trucker!”

Time to wash their mouths out with soap. I tend to favor a good Palmolive myself...

The humble habanero pepper. So much fear.
So little appreciation.

Also - learning to chile wrangle is important. If you ever want to embrace and own the mysteries that are part of Texas cookin’, you must learn to chile wrangle.

I teach you how in the Tips ‘n Tricks section.

Chile Wrangle like a pro! Learn how to skin a chile! (Ahem,
yes, I'm aware a habanero is actually a pepper...

It’s not scary when you know what you’re doing and because you handle them correctly, you get the benefit of the flavor without all of the heat – unless you want the heat, then bring it!

Did you know, habaneros are actually really fruity flavored?

Always make the dressing first and let the flavors meld. I also make twice as much dressing as I need, because it works great with everything from Oven Fried Zucchini to regular house salads and veggies! Oh and don’t get me started about using it on burgers and fish sandwiches! Stop it! Don’t tease.

Revolutionary Hot Dog Buns or Brat Buns and Hamburger
Buns, make any shape you need with non-stick aluminum foil!

Well let’s get started here and get you set up for Memorial Day! Together with the Revolutionary Hot Dog Buns and Hamburger Buns, you’re halfway there for your cookout.

Memorial Day is the perfect holiday to assuage your longing for processed meats. I know, processed meats aren't on the anti-cancer food list and "appear" to be bad for your health. I maintain for me personally, I will eat them as part of that 10% quality of life food group I put together, to make life worth livin'.

Low Carb, Sugar Free, Paleo Friendly, Diabetic Friendly!
Whew! That's a long one, but you can just call it love.
Or, call it Lemon Blackberry Ice Cream made with  buttermilk!

Whip up a quick batch of Fluffy Chix Buttermilk Ice Cream and you will have no problems staying legal and low carb this weekend.

This totally legal buttermilk ice cream is good tasting and good for you. But, you'd never know! The buttermilk is rich and gives a creamy finish to a sorbet start. It's like an Italian Ice met cream and had an affair to remember. (Oh wow, don't you adore Carey Grant and Deborah Kerr?)
Great movie! But I digress...

Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you! I was invited by Recipe Lion to take part in their Memorial Day spread at recipelion.com. It drops on May 25th, so go read and comment with love, purty please?? Recipe Lion is an online recipe community specializing in healthy living and yummy food! They have a great newsletter, terrific recipes and lots of healthy living tips from real people like you and me!

Also, Joe Lindley from Craving Sugar News, the Low Carb and Paleo News Site gave Fluffy Chix another awesome acknowledgment. He listed Fluffy Chix Cook on his news site and was very complimentary! Thanks Joe! Love your very informational site! So be sure to make Craving Sugar News one of your favorites and keep up with the latest news in our little slice of low carb heaven!

Chile Lime Coleslaw
Serves – 6-8
Prep Time – 20 Minutes
Cook Time – None
Difficulty – Easy Boy!

Chile Lime Dressing tastes great on coleslaw, mixed green salad,
and works as a veggie dip and sandwich spread!

For the Dressing:
½ c. Yogurt, plain (use the lowest carb possible - I use White Mountain Yogurt)
½ c. Sour Cream
¼ c. Mayo (preferably homemade or Duke’s or Hellman’s if you don’t mind eating partially hydrogenated oils and soybean ickiness…)
1 spoon Country Dijon
1 spoon Olive Oil
1 spoon Apple Cider Vinegar (Bragg’s preferred)
2 cloves Garlic, pressed
1 Tbsp. Parsley Flakes, dried or fresh
1 Lime, Zested
1 Lime, Juiced
1 tsp. Chili Powder
1 tsp. Black Pepper
1 hearty pinch Kosher Salt
1 spoon Xylitol Honey
1-2 drops Fiber Fit or ½ tsp. Truvia or Erythritol/Xylitol/Stevia blend

Use a tablespoon from your flatware drawer. Don’t break out the measuring spoons. This is an inexact recipe. Use more! Use less. Make it yours! Don't sweat it!

Combine the yogurt, sour cream, mayonnaise and mustard. (BTW, the egg in the ingredients photo goes in the mayo, not the coleslaw!). Add in a couple of cloves of pressed garlic or use 1/2 - 1 teaspoon of granulated garlic powder. (The finished salad is s'posed to taste hot and garlicky.)

Add Apple Cider Vinegar. Any kind will do, but I prefer Bragg's Unfiltered ACV (Apple Cider Vinegar.)

Add Olive Oil.

Add black pepper.

Add chile powder.

Add dried parsley.

Add lime juice and a pinch of salt and let it sit to develop flavor! Over night makes it better!

Use sweetener with caution!

This is the time to start adding sweetness with judicious caution. I don't like sweet coleslaw, but you might! Add any artificial sweetener you like. I added a tiny bit of xylitol honey and a drop of FiberFit (concentrated Splenda).

Adjust the sweetness to taste. I don’t like mine very sweet, so I stop with 1 drop of the Fiber Fit and just a teaspoon of xylitol honey.

Mix all ingredients together and refrigerate in an air tight container until ready to toss with coleslaw.

For the Chile Coleslaw:

½ large head Cabbage, slice thinly
½ Red Bell Pepper, julienne
½ Red Onion, sliver
½ Cucumber, peel and julienne
5 Green Onions, chop finely
1 Serrano, julienne
1 Habanero, seed and mince
2 Baby Carrots, grate
2 large Radishes, grate
8 Grape Tomatoes, halve
1/3 – ½ c. Cilantro, chop
3 oz. Cotijilla Cheese, (or Queso Fresco or Feta)
Kosher Salt
Black Pepper, freshly grated

Finely slice the cabbage. I used green, but get fancy! Add red cabbage. Add savoy or Chinese Cabbage! The sky's the limit here!

Peel and julienne cucumbers. Leave the seeds in if you like 'em (I do), or take 'em out. You're the boss of your domain - and also of cheese and ketchup.

Sliver red onion.

Slice green onions in half, lengthwise. Then cut them in half so you have a short, bunch of onion strips.

Now chop ‘em! Just chop ‘em!

Use a big hand grater for the carrots and radishes.

Grate the carrots.

Do the same to the radishes.

Time to chile wrangle baybee!! Start with the red bell pepper and start channeling your inner Texan! Slice the planes of meat off half of the red bell pepper.

Carefully remove any white, pithy rib on the inside of the pepper.

Now make thin strips called julienne out of the flat planes of the red bell pepper. You can cut them in half to make shorter strips.

Now do the same for the serrano.

Skin it.

Julienne that puppy! (If you are askeered, you can go ahead and mince the julienne to a finer texture. We like to keep our serrano as strips but we’re loco in la cabeza!

Now get ready! It’s habanero time. Skin it!

CAREFULLY! Carefully cut out the rib and discard. Try not to touch anything, ever. Again. The less you tickle that rib, the more mild and sweet the habanero will taste!

Julienne the habanero.

Now mince it up by cutting across the julienne into a fine dice.

Chop the cilantro.

Split the grape tomatoes in half and toss them into the salad. Add cotija cheese, a crumbly, fresh, sharp Mexican Cheese. You can also use Queso Fresco, or Feta.

Now you should have been using a large stainless or non-reactive bowl. NO plastic! Add dressing – I start with 1/3 of the dressing and toss through to coat. If you need more, add more a little at a time.

This coleslaw gets wetter with age. Less is more when it comes to dressing!

Adjust seasoning. Add salt and pepper to taste. Add more lime if needed. Give it an extra pinch of chili powder. Make it your own. Remember, you are the boss of cheese and ketchup. Master or mistress of all you see from the island, to the fridge, and on to the stove. That includes drain boards, too! Get to cookin!

Nutritional Information
Coleslaw Dry - Full Recipe

Coleslaw Dry - Single Serving

Dressing – Full Recipe

Dressing – Single Serving

SusieT’s Notes –

This is a house favorite with Denny and me. Of course, the ‘boys’ pitch fits and stage a protest, but heck fire, we cannot live on peanut butter and bananas! The bananas are too high carb for regular consumption and those 'boys' will stage an Occupy OakLane event at the slightest provocation.

"Meh! Sock monkeys will be sock monkeys," that's what I always say.

Chile Lime Coleslaw tastes great as a side dish for
just about any kind of grilled, barbequed or fried food. It's
as close to being canonized as a saint here in Texas
as any side dish you can imagine.

I love Chile Lime Coleslaw as either a side salad or as a topping to grilled hot dogs, brats and Texas hotlinks. It is awesome with a fish sandwich or as a side to oven fried fish and barbeque of all kinds – especially pork shoulder and beef brisket.

I love splitting the dressing up into yogurt, sour cream and a touch of mayo for body. It's a little trick my sissy, Khakki, taught us and it really lightens up the dressing while still giving a rich mouth-feel. Just use regular old yogurt here. I like White Mountain Yogurt, Full Fat brand. It sure saves you on calories!

This is not part of the recipe but if you want to gild the lily, add a little crispy chopped bacon or add a few boiled, chopped shrimp and you will be Queen of the Kitchen! (Or King!)

Happy Memorial Day everyone! God Bless our troops and God Bless our country! Thanks to each one – every man and woman who have fought to keep us free!

Forgot to mention - Tomorrow is my 6 month check-up at the oncologist. It was 6 months ago on May 1 that I had a bilateral mastectomy and a left lymph node dissection that included levels 1 and 2 (34 lymph nodes total - and 12 or 14 of them had living cancer in them at the time of surgery). Feeling a couple of lumps that concern me and am praying for the best possible answer - scar tissue and nothing to worry about! So if you have a spare thought, please give a shout out to the big guy upstairs on my behalf, purty please?